Friday, September 26, 2008

Putting a positive spin on well, a crapper

My hope for this blog is that it is a breath of fresh air, a place where there is no one pretending that they have it all together. Well now is just such that time for honesty.
We are in our second week of homeschooling. It hasn't all been bad; much of it has been good. But ladies, nothing is perfect. Most of my frustration has come from my 3 year old, who seems to have slipped into a second season of the terrible-two's. My son, who is mostly energetic and delightful, has become stubborn, destructive, and has one volume...LOUD. Today was bad. I had just begun the school day. I had read one thing. I opened up one of our history books and he said "Can we be done?" He has asked me this many times over the course of our school time. My answer is always the same "You're not in school, yes, be done, go play." But that is never good enough. He assumes that he must sit there, and today, none of my suggestions of things he could do were accepted. Well, we were battling it out and all the while I'm trying to control my anger (you know, set a good example). Finally, I dissolved into tears and came downstairs, wondering how many days can go into the crapper without us getting behind. I have seen some progress. There are days when I've seen him hold it together when he hasn't gotten his way. But today has been one of those days for me. Even as I've been typing this, Jack, who was supposed to be taking his nap decided he was done with that, and my daughter asked me if I am mad at her and her brother.
Ever since my oldest was a toddler, in the midst of a struggle, many times I have thought about my sin before a Holy God. Any offense against me is nothing compared to my sin before God, and He has forgiven me. It kind of helps put things in perspective. I don't know why I expect so much from them sometimes. I am thankful for the love of God and the example in Jesus, because as frustrated as I can get I love my children so much and I know that doesn't come in and of myself.
So, today was pretty much a loss. If I hurry, I can get some housework done. Looks like we're going to do school on Saturday.


Anonymous said...

It's always good to hear your honesty. It's good to remember that He is in control.

jena said...

Just think of all the "life lessons" you are teaching your kids even when you can't seem to get school done. You are such a great mom, and your kids know that!Hang in there =). Thanks for your honesty - you are great encouragement to me