Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Grace and Expectations

Hello again. I've been wanting to post something for so long, but not having the time or let's face it, energy, it has taken a back seat. I am in my 19th week of pregnancy and feeling so much better. There are days when I wonder how in the world I will be able to manage things in the next few months, yet there are also days when my children are delightful, the cleaning gets done and dinner is on the table. There are going to be good days and bad days.
Lately I have been thinking so much about how much God has blessed me. I commented to my husband the other day when he was talking about God's blessing of our children that I feel so undeserving of what He's given me. Then again, when are we ever deserving of His grace? So many things to be thankful for.
Spring is here and with that comes a long list of projects. This is a list that is composed of projects that will get done and some that I will later decide are too lofty. Every year I want a big garden. However, the seeds that survive and don't get gobbled up by birds and actually grow into plants meet their fate of being gobbled up by deer. One year, I carefully planted an herb garden right outside the front door thinking the plants would be safe from the deer. I never considered something would come from under the ground and eat the seeds, but that is what I found- lots of little tunnels in the dirt, but no seeds. It pains me to not be able to accomplish this domestic goal. Especially since my parents and grandparents were always so successful at gardening.
I guess it's a good reminder that I can't do it all. I seem to constantly need this reminder. Sometimes it's in the form of a failed garden, sometimes a failed recipe, and sometimes a soggy load of laundry that didn't make it into the dryer. Over the past few years, I've been able to do less and less. Amazingly, I'm becoming more and more used to that idea, and letting go of my high expectations has freed me up to enjoy other things. Things like watching my oldest ride her bike without training wheels, my son and his amazing zest for life which he gets honestly from his father, and my baby who over the past couple of days has become quite the talker.
This post has been all over the map, but that is life around here lately. Lots of learning and lots of letting go.
By the way, sorry about the candy corn border. I will deal with that later; I'm letting that go.


gina said...

i'm with ya, sister, and i think you are doing a great job with all that is on your plate!

Jessi said...

You're an encouragement to me, Shelly! You've always been an inspiration to me and continue to be so...especially with your encouraging words to enjoy the kiddos. They sure do grow up too fast!

nGogo said...

Beautiful post, Shelly...I've missed you. I check every day to see if you've posted. May God continue to bless you with joy in mothering.